Moldy Muddy Macaroni
A foul combination of thick mud, moldy cheese, rotten milk and slimy decaying vegetables. This revolting mix creates a lumpy gooey texture with an awful smell. It’s truly a delicious, beautiful concoction that’s sure to make everyone drool!
this recipes serves 4 orcs from the deepest depths of the underworld
What you need;
2 cups of moldy cheese (preferably cheese that been molding since 1364)
4 bowls of moldy mud from your favorite park
1 cup of rotten milk from 2 years ago
23 fresh worms
3 rat tails
6 spicy mouse feet
- How to Prepare Your Moldy Muddy Macaroni
Gather your tools
You’ll need a large cauldron (preferably dented and rusty), a sturdy stick for stirring, and a pair of gloves to protect your hands from the powerful stench.
Start with the base
Pour the four bowls of moldy mud into the cauldron. Use your stick to stir it until it’s a smooth, squelchy consistency. Bonus points if the mud contains bits of grass or mystery objects!
Add the rotten milk
Slowly pour in the cup of rotten milk while stirring. The mix will begin to bubble and ooze—this is exactly what you want.
Incorporate the worms and tails
Toss in the fresh worms and rat tails, stirring gently so they don’t get too tangled. These ingredients add the perfect chewy texture.
Sprinkle in the moldy cheese
Tear apart the moldy cheese and let it plop into the bubbling mix. The older the cheese, the better it blends, so don’t rush this step. Stir until the cheese creates delightful green and blue streaks throughout.
Top it off with the spicy mouse feet
Throw in the six spicy mouse feet and let the cauldron simmer over a fire fueled by burning ogre toenails. This will release a rich aroma sure to draw in every orc within a mile.
Taste test (optional)
Dip a wooden spoon into the mix, take a sniff, and let your imagination decide if you’re brave enough to try it.
Serving Suggestions
Serve this feast steaming hot in skull-shaped bowls. Garnish with a sprinkling of dirt for that earthy crunch. Pair with a goblet of goblin sweat for a truly unforgettable meal.